Good manners

One day, 74 told me about her thought. She really wants to have a good manners, a good attitude, a good personality. I told her that of course everyone want it.

She said, "Ya I know. But everyone have one good personality, and I don't"

I snorted. She always like that and, well I'm sorry. I'm kinda tired with her words.

"of course you have. Urrgh come on. Just tell me, how can I help you? I'm your friend okay. Just, tell me how to help you out of 'this' situation" I said almost angry.

She started do her 'blank smile'. "no, nothing. Sorry for annoying you. Thanks" and then she left.

I remember the song of Simple Plan, Welcome to my life.

Well, I'm sure that she feels the same with the song. I mean like, no one understand her. Okay I know I know, I was pity her and really wanted to help her. But when the time goes by, I really am tired with her. She just really, even save her ownlife. She always say something weird about herself or ask riddiculous things to me. I'm sick of it. Totally.

Finally, days after that she just fine. Hang out with her friends -she has friends actually. But like what I said, no one understand her, laugh like usual, and another stuff. But she ruined it again.

When people nice to her, automatically she wants to keep that. Trying to be a nice kid and have 'a good manners'. But when she trying to be like that, the warm aura.

I was with her that time, when she really really ruined her day and peoples' mood. I couldn't angry to her, because she tried really hard to not cry. I could see her really fight back her emotion. Finally the tears didn't come out. She did it.

And then she started to did something to forget that moment. She heard hard songs. You know like, rock.

There, I realize her habit when she get mad or angry. By hearing that kind of songs. From now till on, I guess I could know when will she sad.

writer said...

today, I will not tell you a story about 74. but just for this time. because, I'm crying.

I've just red that Super Junior will come to Jakart at 4th june.

I'll be honest that I prefer they don't come. Maybe it's really selfish but I just really don't want they come this year. Well, maybe this is year is fine but not April, Mei or June. I always hope like that since I was 8th grade. But, God don't want me to be selfish, I think.

I was crying for awhile. And then I asked myself,

"why am I crying? Someone whom I loved shouldn't make me cry. So, is it a mistake is I cry because of them?"

So I feel confused right now. One part of myself said to me. The fact that I really do love Super Junior is a mistake. They make me cry when I can't watch their concert but they feel really happy with their concert.

Another one said, it's not their fault if I cry. I can't blame them because I can't watch their concert.

In 9th grade, I really want to go to SMAN 3 Bandung. So I WAS really study hard.

And then, the news come.

IF I want to watch their concert, maybe I have to be really seeking for the update of the concert, especially the ticket. BUT, what about my high school? I should focus with that. The concert is just make me can't focus. I can't blame them, though.

Well, I really deeply feel sorry for saying all of this. I just want to share my feelings. I think it makes me be like 74 huh? My head is full of thought right now so, I'm sorry.